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Monday, December 04, 2006

George Walker Bush Presidential Library: $500 Million in Coloring Books

We find it ironic there are people who want to raise over 500 million dollars for a library to a president who admittedly does not read. Generally, people who do not read do not write. So if this president did not read, or had someone read to him, then he probably did not write. He most likely had someone write for him. We realize many presidents have speech writers, but often they edit or modify those speeches written for them before they are publicly delivered or they send personal notes in their own hand.

If there are no writings by this president we are wondering what would be housed in the George Walker Bush Presidential Library. Would it be his favorite coloring book(s)? His favorite Little Golden Book(s) stories?

We suspect the money will be spent to construct a state of the art library, a veritable temple to manipulative technologies; in which patrons, who also do not read or write, will have materials read to them.

Picture it. We go into the library. We tell the librarian we'd like to look at the presidential papers pertaining to September 11, 2001. The librarian goes to a CRT screen to see if there is an available "Reader", a human, or even a computer generated cyber-bot, to read the material to the patron.

Or better yet, the "Reader" will tell us what we want to hear. Perhaps a piece of revisionist history, such as being sold in a curriculum to many of the school systems across the nation at this time by one of the president's brothers.
"George W. Bush, America's greatest president, single-handedly wiped out all the terrorists from the Middle East. George Bush has replaced George Washington in the esteemed place in the hearts of all true American patriots."
We suggest the George Walker Bush Presidential Library (and Repository for Coloring and Cloth Books) be constructed on the moon. This suggestion has a three-fold purpose.

  • Firstly, since this president is a champion of American space exploration, the funding could be used to further that endeavor. Astronauts would be jettisoned into space, maybe dock at the International Space Station (ISS) on their way to the moon construction site to review the plans and pick up additional supplies and materials. They could also travel to the ISS for rest and relaxation before coming home to planet earth and returning to the moon again to continue work on the project. For $500 million this library is gonna be some kind of super structure in a weightless atmosphere. We're not talkin' weekend handyman project.

  • Secondly, George Walker Bush could be given a one-way ticket to the satellite that orbits the earth. And if you are one of those people who believe the moon landings were faked George could possibly become the first man on the moon. At the very least he could claim the title of "The Man on The Moon".

  • Thirdly and lastly, there is the issue of security. As we all know this is the president who is preoccupied with SECURITY. And when his term of office is over he is going to be thoroughly preoccupied with ensuring that no one reads the classified documents as to what he and his crew really did. What better place to put those papers than on the moon?! Who has the money or the where with all to get there and read them. No one. Should be secure up there. Don't have to worry about court orders declassification because you can get all the court orders and declassification papers you want but you still are not going to get to the moon to read those papers.

  • And if you really had the money, why the secret satellite Stars Wars laser would probably blow you right out of the sky. Or maybe Dick Cheney would be there with his gun conducting his target practice.

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