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Saturday, April 21, 2007

Pope Abolishes Limbo-Hell Next, Entry Fee Levied For Heaven

Earlier this week the Pope, Benedict XVI, overturned the belief held by Roman Catholics for centuries in a place called limbo. Seems His Holiness has been planning the demise of limbo since last fall. He's finally made a decision.

Limbo, is a place for "holy people", according to Bene and the Roman Catholics; it is a place for babies who die before they can be baptised as well as the place for Abraham, the Old Testament prophet who lived and died before the Christ, who Chrisitans believe came to redeem the world.

There was a time when it was believed a soul went to limbo for a period of 60 to 90 days maybe more perhaps less, but eventually it was released to go to either Heaven or Hell.

Benedict XVI's decree means those people whose souls are in limbo will remain there for eternity. They will not go to Hell. They will not go to Heaven. They'll just be hangin' out in limbo. They will not pass go. They will not collect $200.

"If Heaven were a place that money could buy ...." We believe it's just a matter of time before entry into Heaven will require lots of cash money, and a mention of who you know.

The Pope utilized the findings of a report from the International Theological Commission, a body of Vatican-appointed theologians who advise the pope and the Vatican's Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith to reach his conclusion about limbo. Benedict headed the Congregation for two decades before becoming pope in 2005.

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Prom 2007 in Dixie

For you folks who do not know, it's that time of year in the southern United States. It's time for young ladies to go shopping with their mothers and girlfriends for frilly, pouffy, big-skirted prom dresses. It's time for the young gentlement to rent tuxedoes and shoes and all the accessories that go with formal dress for such an auspicious occasion.

It's time for limousine owners to polish up and get every car in their fleet in running tip-top working order, because prom night is the biggest night of the year.

For the limousine industry Prom season is for them what Christmas is for retailers.

This year's vehicle of choice seems to the really big SUV. The bigger the better. Got 22 friends who are reliable and want to go to prom and chip in about $100 a piece including tax and tip and maybe fuel surcharge? LMNOPQ Limousine Service has your ride.

Another vehicle of choice is the Chrysler 300C.

This the "car that rides the stars" and on Prom night everybody is a star...or wants to be.

And so it goes as parents sacrifice, students save money from their after school jobs and others who are fortunate just whip out the credit card and pay without blinking an eye, or slap down that cold hard cash without a whimper or a grimace.

That's what my friend the limousine owner says. Prom it's the limousine owner's answer to Christmas. The season begins in mid-March and runs through the last weekend in June. Pretty long Christmas.

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Shooting Tragedy At Virginia Tech: A Solution Part 2

As the first of many funeral services and memorial services are held to honor those killed in the massacre that took place last week on the quiet campus of the Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University (Virginia Tech) in Blacksburg, Virginia ,we once again make a case for gun laws to prohibit the sales of assault weapons. As you may recall 33 people were murdereed when a student began firing randomly at students and teachers to settle a score for reasons known only to him. We belive no greater tribute can be made to those who died than to modify the gun laws in order to prevent the repetition of this kind of incident.

We were upbraided by one reader who thinkss, as does the president, that during this "sad time" it is improper to discuss revising the legislation to protect our citizens. If we as a nation are not discussing the necessary change in legislation to protect our citizens from needless violence from assault weapons when this kind of abhorrent activity takes place, we want to know when it is appropriate to discuss such changes in the gun laws? It is timely and more than appropriate to speak of these things when there is an incident so indelibly etched in the minds of all the people.

Some of you do not consider the weapon used in last Monday's incident an assault weapon. We say you are just quibbling over semantics. The gun used in the shootings provided far more firepower than one should need outside of a combat zone. We say the sales of such firearms should be banned.

We noted the only place we've observed such mayhem, disruption and large numbers of people killed at one time is places obviously involved in conflict. WAR. Daily battles. We do not know of any declared or undeclared wars on the American citizens in the United States; unless, of course you are considering the incident which took place on September 11, 2001 in New York City, Pennsylvania, and Virginia. We are not sure if the attacker in that case is domestic or foreign. What we do know is that many people are caught in the grip of fear. Much of the fear can be omitted by simply changing the gun laws to prohibit the sale of assault weapons. The remainder of the fear can be alleviated by impeaching George Bush and his band of political thugs....ah we can only hope.

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