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U.S. Gymnastics Gold Medal Olympian Gabrielle Douglas I Am *Not* My Hair
The YouThinkWhat staff wish to congratulate Gabrielle Douglas, and her family, upon achieving the titles Champion, Gold Medalist, Olympian. The Best!
As if all the time, energy, money, sweat, tears, injuries and sacrifices made by the 16 year-old athlete, and her family, to successfully train for this occasion isn’t enough, and apparently it’s not enough for some people,* and you know who you are.* There are, as always, “some” who are envious, “they” are finding fault, and talking about her hair.
Gabrielle Douglas is a sixteen year-old black female from Virginia. In addition to her nearly indescribable athletic prowess and intelligence, Gabrielle Douglas possesses a penetrating Christian faith; Douglas exhibits a degree of gratitude incomprehensible to those who profoundly eschew the philosophy, as well as “many”, like a staff writer for Salon, Mary Elizabeth Williams, who profess being Christian. (Miss Douglas’ religious beliefs will be discussed in another article. We believe Gabrielle Douglas will be the topic of many a discussion for a long time.)
Along with the usual criticisms expectedly hurled upon a person of Miss Douglas’ stature, (after-all she is a Gold Medal winning Olympian) , her family and her win, there are “some” who have commented harshly about her hair. The YouThinkWhat staff during an editorial meeting came up with reasons why Gabrielle Douglas’ hair was not up to the fantastic standard established by “some”, those who’ve likely never attempted a physical routine like gymnastics, for young girls who do amazing gymnastic routines.
As Black women know, Black salons are notoriously slow, and others know even a perm at a white salon, getting there and back, getting it done, can take two to four hours, a whole afternoon; personal prep time and travel time to the salon is not included in the suggested estimate.
For Gabrielle Douglas to have taken the time to regularly get her hair “did”, that is coiffured in the manner of some R&B/Pop star like Beyonce, Lady Gaga, or entertainer like Madonna, JLo or Rihanna, Miss Douglas likely would not have had time to practice; there would be no time to master routines on equipment such as Uneven Bars, and the Balance Beam.
There would have simply been no time to rehearse Floor Exercise routines while simultaneously practicing the fine art, the craft, of hanging out, eating and blabbing at the hair salon while waiting to receive services…you know waiting to have your hair and nails done.
We have some suggestions for Future Olympics to remedy this:
In the future we suggest all salons, both Black and White, if being separate but equal is in vogue rather than hair enterprises being integrated, must have mandatory gymnastics practice studios.
In this way future gymnastic stars like Miss Douglas can have perfectly coiffured hair before, during and after every practice routine, even before, during and after competitive performance. With 24/7-On Call hair attendants just like we’re told by the media the celebrity personalities have, future participants in any sport will have every hair in place; they will not have to be concerned with looking their best.
At the same time, in the future we imagine, all those lazy-triflin’ ass-bourgeois haters, and their equally unpleasant counterpart complainers must do mandatory exercises, harder than flapping their lips while getting their nails painted: for the first time in their life.
We look forward to seeing them on the high bar!
We anticipate the amusement of watching these big mouths practice their dismounts.
From all these enthusiastic Beauty Salon participants may come our next generation of gymnastics star excellence.
And for all the rest of you, already over the hill, older than 15, who believe it’s too late to excel in Olympic gymnastic participation, do not fret; the physical exercise will still be good for you.
And…
You may still be eligible for the new Future Olympic categories:
- Sitting at the hair salon flapping your mouth= gossiping
- Waiting for service
- Eating
- Still waiting
- Waiting for hours on end to be primped, permed, colored, weaved, or have extensions added in order to be considered cute by You and those whose opinions of you, you frequently value over your own.
The winners of the competition in the categories mentioned previously will go on to compete in the mortality quest; this is the ultimate contest. The women are judged and scored by the officials, the best hair style is the first to die.
Since right now in the United States black women are dying from diseases developed as a result of lack of exercise, physical movement and poor diet. Lack of participation comes from the desire to look cute, no matter what the price, even to sacrificing good health. (We wonder if “they” the people who have voiced their dissatisfaction have ever attempted to do the simplest of gymnastic moves.)
No doubt you can try to excel and match Great Olympic standards in this.
All while the next Miss Douglas hones her athletic skills in the gym next door.
And you will both look cute. Although her finely trained Olympic body will look better, be assured your hair will be lookin’ good!
We think it’s unlikely Gabrielle Douglas was ever heard telling her coach, “I can’t practice right now, I have to get my nail repaired,” or “I have to figure out a fly style for my hair.”
And we are proud of her for that.
Watching Gabrielle Douglas go through her paces on the gymnastic equipment you suddenly realize what she does is the result of high concentration and diligent practice.
Those who lament the appearance of her hair obviously have never practiced anything more than the catty art of
do nothing bitchin’; likely habitually spewing resentment.
Gabrielle Douglas is a 16 year-old who is still developing. Miss Douglas has embraced her “sistah-gurl” hair style. We think she and her hair style are cute. Who among us has not styled her hair for the convenience of the activity? Who among us hasn’t worn the cute l’il black girl hair do when we were cute little black girls and cute black adults ready for the physical job at hand? We like the fact she’s comfortable, content with her physical appearance, her features, being beautiful, black, and female; we believe Miss Douglas is just fine!
We pose this question to the self appointed critics, the arbiters of black hair fashion for a gymnast while at work:
What the hell have you done lately?
As India Arie says, “I Am Not My Hair”.
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