Attention: Rupert Murdock, O.J. Simpson, George W. Bush, Robert Blake, Judith Regan, Dick Cheney: A
Modest Television Program Proposal
Finally, someone at Rupert Murdock's media conglomerate-News Corp , which owns and operates Fox Broadcasting, and HarperCollins Publishing, which in turn owns Regan Books finally, someone among that group of high power media executives came to his or her senses.
Someone in the group, probably Rupert, himself, as I see him in the role of the benevolent, avuncular, "king of nearly all media-especially scandalous news stories", realized the ill-conceived idea of a book by Orenthal James Simpson, better known as O.J. Simpson, describing how he would have murdered his former wife, if he had done it-hence the title "If I Did It" along with a televised interview, conducted by Judith Regan of Regan Books, (who came up with the lousy idea in the first place), during television sweeps week, was not as good an idea as the one we had last year.
It was right around this time last year when we suggested this program idea, but no one, not one enterprising producer from the world of television responded. Not one executive expressed interest in our idea. Not one of those genius Annenberg Comm School R/TV majors who graduated after 1973 contacted us. Instead they came up with their idea of what good tv would be featuring O.J. Simpson.
What Murdock and others fail to comprehend is that the American public is not ready for Simpson to come into their homes on the regular alone. This is, afterall America. It will be far better for O.J. to come before you every week as part of an ensemble...sort of like the way he was presented in character when he played in those movies with Leslie Nielsen; how could you forget the "Naked Gun" series of detective comedies?
Our updated television program proposal, a possible spin-off from the original idea, entitled "21st Century Fugitives: In Search of Weapons of Mass Destruction" includes George W. Bush, the current lame-duck president, and Dick Cheney, his vice-president. Just as in the original proposal, two men, the stars O.J. and Robert Blake, wrongly accused of crimes they did not commit are scouring the nation for the true killers.
In the "Presidential" version of the program--"21st Century Fugitives: In Search of Weapons of Mass Destruction", we will watch as the future former president, George Walker Bush and the future former veep, and sharp-shooter "Dead-eye" Dick Cheney, who have been falsely accused of misleading their nation into war with Iraq because of these weapons search the entire nation of Iraq and surrounding areas of the Middle East looking for Weapons of Mass Destruction accompanied by O.J.and Robert Blake. They will take us to locations where they thought the weapons were; locations where the WMDs might have actually been before their rumored removal to secret hidden locations. Plus American viewers will have an opportunity to see the places where their loved ones served and maybe died. A video tour of places such as An-Najaf (Najaf), Kirkuk, Baghdad, Tikrit, Al-Basrah(Basra), Ar-Ramdi (Ramadi). Now this is what we call "You-Really-Gotta-See-It-Tv!"
Week after week O.J. and Robert Blake will come into your homes to tell the stories of untold hundreds of men and women who are imprisoned for crimes they did not commit. Alternating weeks we'll look in on Dick and George to see how their hunt for those pesky WMDs is progressing. Every week they'll find a new clue. George will say something like, "Look, Dick! Look! Steel. Steel is needed for weapons of mass destruction." Dick will reply, as he takes out his gun, "Let me shoot it before it gets away!"
Hey! Rupert as they say in the biz...have-your-people-contact-our-people...
we'll-do-lunch. This could be something really big.
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