{"id":1125,"date":"2013-05-13T20:15:42","date_gmt":"2013-05-14T00:15:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/youthinkwhat.com\/now\/?p=1125"},"modified":"2013-05-13T19:53:41","modified_gmt":"2013-05-13T23:53:41","slug":"iain-connell-robert-florence-comedic-take-on-voice-recognition-devices","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/youthinkwhat.com\/now\/iain-connell-robert-florence-comedic-take-on-voice-recognition-devices\/","title":{"rendered":"Iain Connell, Robert Florence Comedic Take On Voice Recognition Devices"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Our friend magician and champion public speaker, Ron Melvin also known as\u00a0Mystical Mel, found this video. We think it provides, in an exaggerated way exactly the level of frustration, &#8220;Voice Recognition Hell&#8221;, we&#8217;ve all likely experienced when dealing with devices designed to recognize speech in order to function&#8230;whether telephone prompts for customer service, car phones, lights or even televisions.<\/p>\n<p>We hope you&#8217;ll agree &#8230;this skit from the popular BBC\u00a0 Scotland comedy sketch show &#8220;Burnistoun&#8221; is hilarious!<strong><\/strong><img decoding=\"async\" title=\"More...\" src=\"http:\/\/youthinkwhat.com\/now\/wp-includes\/js\/tinymce\/plugins\/wordpress\/img\/trans.gif\" alt=\"\" \/><strong><!--more--><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The co-creators of the program, comedy writers\/performers from Scotland, Iain Connell, and Robert Florence, show us what could happen when this cutting edge technology is installed in a usually easy to use machine such as an elevator, or lift.<\/p>\n<p><script type='text\/javascript' src='https:\/\/youthinkwhat.com\/now\/wp-content\/plugins\/hana-flv-player\/flowplayer3\/example\/flowplayer-3.2.6.min.js'><\/script>\n<div >\n<div id='hana_flv_flow3_1' style='display:block;width:400px;height:330px;background-color:#555555;color:#ffffff;padding:0' title=\"\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n<script  type='text\/javascript'>\nif (typeof g_hanaFlash !== 'undefined' && !g_hanaFlash){\n    jQuery('#hana_flv_flow3_1').css( 'padding', '5px' );\n\tjQuery('#hana_flv_flow3_1').html(\"<span class='inactive_message' style='display:block'>Sorry, your browser does not support Flash Video Player<\/span> \");\n}else{\t\t\t\n\t\tflowplayer('hana_flv_flow3_1', { src: 'https:\/\/youthinkwhat.com\/now\/wp-content\/plugins\/hana-flv-player\/flowplayer3\/flowplayer-3.2.7.swf', wmode: 'transparent' }, { \n\n\t\t\tcanvas: { backgroundColor: '#000000', backgroundGradient: 'none',},\n    \t\tclip:  { \n    \t\t\turl: 'http:\/\/youthinkwhat.com\/Connell-FlorenceVoiceRecognitionElevator.flv',\n        \t\tscaling: 'scale', autoPlay: false, autoBuffering: true \n\t\t\t\t   , onFinish : function () { this.seek(0); }  \n\n\t        }\n\n\t\t});\n}\n<\/script><\/p>\n<p>In case, like the elevator, are unable to recognize their speech; they are, after all, speaking English with a Scottish brogue, for your further comedy entertainment enjoyment we have provided below the transcript of the sketch:<\/p>\n<p><strong>[Iain]<\/strong> Where&#8217;s the buttons?<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong> Oh no, they&#8217;ve installed voice-recognition technology in this lift, they have no buttons.<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong> Voice-recognition technology? In a lift? In Scotland? You ever tried voice-recognition technology?<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong> No.<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0They don&#8217;t do Scottish accents.<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>\u00a0Eleven.<br \/>\n[VOICE] Could you please repeat that?<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0Eleven.<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>Eleven. Eleven.<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0Eleven.<br \/>\n[VOICE] Could you please repeat that?<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>\u00a0EL-EV-EN.<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0Whose idea was this? You need to try an American accent. &#8220;E-leven. E-leven.&#8221;<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>That sounds Irish, not American.<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0No it doesn&#8217;t! ELEVEN.<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>Where in America is that &#8211; Dublin?<br \/>\n[VOICE] I&#8217;m sorry. Could you please repeat that?<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>\u00a0Try an English accent. &#8220;Eelevin! Eelevin!&#8221;<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0You from the same part of England as Dick van Dyke?<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>Let&#8217;s hear yours then, smartass.<br \/>\n[VOICE] Please speak slowly and clearly.<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>\u00a0SMARTASS.<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0Ee-lev-en.<br \/>\n[VOICE] I&#8217;m sorry. Could you please repeat that?<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0ELEVEN. If you don&#8217;t understand the lingo, away back home to your own country!<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>\u00a0Ooo, it&#8217;s that talk now, is it, away back home to your own country?<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0Oh, don&#8217;t start Mr. Bleeding Heart, how can you be racist to a lift?<br \/>\n[VOICE] Please speak slowly and clearly.<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>\u00a0Eleven. Eleven. Eleven. Eleven.<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0You&#8217;re just saying it the same way!<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>\u00a0I&#8217;m going to keep saying it until it understands Scottish, alright?<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>\u00a0Eleven. Eleven. Eleven! Eleven!<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0Oh just take us anywhere, ya cow! Just open the doors!<br \/>\n[VOICE] This is a voice-activated elevator. Please state which floor you would like to go to in a clear and calm manner.<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0Calm? Calm? Where&#8217;s that coming from? Why is it telling people to be calm?<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>\u00a0Because they knew they&#8217;d be selling this to Scottish people who&#8217;d be going off their nuts at it!<br \/>\n[VOICE] You have not selected a floor.<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>\u00a0Aye, we have! Eleven!<br \/>\n[VOICE] If you would like to get out of the elevator without selecting a floor, simply say &#8220;Open the doors, please&#8221;.<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0Please? Please?? Suck my wully.<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>\u00a0Maybe we should just say &#8220;please&#8221;.<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0I&#8217;m not begging that for nothing.<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>\u00a0Open the doors, please.<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0&#8220;Please!&#8221; Pathetic.<br \/>\n[VOICE] Please remain calm.<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>Oh! My! God! You wait until I get up there&#8230;just wait for it to speak&#8230;<br \/>\n[VOICE] You have not selected a floor.<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>\u00a0Up yours, ya cow! If you don&#8217;t let us through these doors, I&#8217;m gonna come to America, I&#8217;m gonna find whatever desperate actress gave you a voice, and I&#8217;m gonna go to the electric chair for ye!<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0Scotland, you bastard!<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>\u00a0Scotland!<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0SCOTLAND!<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>\u00a0SCOOOOOTLAND!<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0FREEDOM!!<br \/>\n<strong>[Rob]<\/strong>\u00a0FREEDOM!!<br \/>\n<strong>[Iain]<\/strong>\u00a0Goin&#8217; up?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Our friend magician and champion public speaker, Ron Melvin also known as\u00a0Mystical Mel, found this video. We think it provides, in an exaggerated way exactly the level of frustration, &#8220;Voice Recognition Hell&#8221;, we&#8217;ve all likely experienced when dealing with devices designed to recognize speech in order to function&#8230;whether telephone prompts for customer service, car phones, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[53,52],"tags":[150,267,41,259,266,148,149,261],"class_list":["post-1125","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-comedy","category-entertainment","tag-bbc-scotland","tag-comedy","tag-communications","tag-education","tag-entertainment","tag-iain-connell","tag-robert-florence","tag-technology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/youthinkwhat.com\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1125","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/youthinkwhat.com\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/youthinkwhat.com\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/youthinkwhat.com\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/youthinkwhat.com\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1125"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/youthinkwhat.com\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1125\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1129,"href":"https:\/\/youthinkwhat.com\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1125\/revisions\/1129"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/youthinkwhat.com\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1125"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/youthinkwhat.com\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1125"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/youthinkwhat.com\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}