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Introducing Fantasy Banking!
Say consumers get in on the latest craze sweeping the nation that’s fun for the whole entire family. It’s called Fantasy Banking! That’s right! Join in on this exciting new way to play like the aristocracy. You can “own” a financial institution.
Just like when you “own” a fantasy sports team you don’t really own a team like the Major League Baseball World Series Champion Philadelphia Phillies. You are pretending with your friends who are also pretending they “own” teams like Hal Steinbrenner’s New York Yankees; or if you play in a football fantasy league your friend might pretend to “own” the reigning National Football League (NFL) SuperBowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers while you might pretend to “own” the Philadelphia Eagles; or you may have the misfortune to “own” the Detroit Lions, who have the dubious distinction of having the worst record, ever, in the NFL . When you “own” fantasy sports teams you can make decisions just like the real life millionaires and billionaires who have real ownership of real major league sports teams.
That’s how it is when you and your friends play Fantasy Banking.
When you play Fantasy Banking you have a choice to be in the U.S. Banking markets, the South American Banking markets, the Asian Banking markets or the European Banking markets.
Gosh! Golly kids you and your friends can pretend to have more money than you do as you make financial trades around the globe. You can make boneheaded decisions just like the ones Ken Lewis made when he was Chairman and the CEO of Bank Of America. Like Lewis, you, too, can be forced to relinquish your position by irate shareholders.
You can make purchases with cash you don’t have just like real banks do. You’ll approve high risk loans to individuals and companies that will never in a million years qualify to meet conventional credit criteria for granting loans to individual borrowers or corporate entities.
Approve mortgages for overpriced houses. Sell mortgages in a securitized bundle of other toxic assets and see the disaster that ensues.
You’ll be charging excessive fees for nearly any service and everything you can think of while you spend the money in fantastic unrestrained creative ways unheard of by bankers from earlier times. You’ll make so much money from ATM fees alone, you will have to set up a separate corporation just to handle the profits!
And what’s more you can even cause a global monetary meltdown then go to the government and taxpayers for a bailout of more money to stay afloat to either spend recklessly or hoard as you make promises to begin making loans to students, educational institutions, moms and dads for cars and small businesses.
You can drag your feet, cause unnecessary delays on making decisions to help thousands of families in jeopardy of losing their homes. Waste more money by going to foreclosure. Watch the children as they are traumatized by the prospect of not having a home. Decimate communities. See the housing prices plummet because You are the banker.
Or use the newest strategy. When you play Fantasy Banking as a pretend banker you can pretend to help, like real bankers do; every time your bank accepts an application for loan modification you make more money, even if the loan is unsuccessful You still get paid.
Sign up today for Fantasy Banking! Don’t be the last on your street to join in the fleecing of future generations.
It’s a game you can’t lose!
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