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Republican John McCain Wins Election!…Rigs Voting Machines For Wrong Day
Friday, September 26th, 2008 @ 11:14 pm | comedy, You think so
Friday Night, September 26, 2008 Pre-Mature Election Results
From the McCain Campaign
John McCain had a decisive win tonight. He collected the majority of the votes cast nationwide. He led Senator Obama by fifty-two percent to forty-eight percent.
He began celebrating immediately, but unfortunately that celebration was cut short when Joe Lieberman came over to whisper in his ear, “The election is not until tomorrow.” To which McCain said, “You mean we have to rig the voting machines all over again?”
” Well, my friends,” JMack continued, “I still won tonight and I am confident I will win tomorrow. With God, electronics, and voting machines on my side I am sure to win even if I can’t open an email!”
“And it’s a good thing, too,” said the twin of incumbent George Bush. ” I had our vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, open my email to show me what was in my inbox, and all that was there were messages saying, ‘You Can Make Your Penis Larger’. ”
Governor Palin said, “We know that these messages are an attack against the senator from Black people.”
Media talking heads suggested McCain won the election on the wrong day. The McCain spokesperson pointed out the Bush-Gore election controversy lasted several weeks. With these voting machines Senator McCain could win everyday. That’s what we call a decisive win!”
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