“The Federal Marriage Amendment (FMA) (also known as the Marriage Protection Amendment) is a proposed amendment to the United States Constitution which would define marriage in the United States as a union of one man and one woman. The FMA also would prevent judicial extension of marriage rights to same-sex or other unmarried couples, as well as preventing people from having multiple spouses. The most recent vote to take place on the proposed Amendment occurred in the United States House of Representatives on July 18, 2006 when the Amendment failed 236 yea to 187 nay votes, falling short of the 290 yea votes required for passage. The Senate has only voted on cloture motions with regards to the proposed Amendment, the last of which was on June 7, 2006 when the motion failed 49 yea to 48 nay votes, falling short of the 60 yea votes required to proceed to consideration of the Amendment.”
We did not know the institution of marriage is in trouble to the point of needing protection by adding another amendment to our federal constitution to define it. To that end we make the following ridiculous, irreverent proposal. We believe ours is as preposterous as the actual proposed amendment:
In so far as a woman is a female, and the natural partner of a man in a marriage, and insofar as the term chick is commonly used to refer to woman, and furthermore a chick is female and hence the natural partner of a man in marriage, we propose it is lawful to marry a chick hence a chicken because chickens are female- and how can you prove a chicken is not a woman?
In so far as all women are not necessarily ladies but all mature females are women, therefore a chicken is too.
We additionally amend and advocate for ewes and nanny goats as members of the female species. We also advocate that pussies be banned from marriage because they have a disruptive effect on chickens.
Furthermore, as we also know that chicks is just an abbreviation for chickens- and while not all chicks are ladies, most chicks are women.
All in favor signify by saying “Aye!” , “Meow” or you may cluck like a chicken.